I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
