i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
