That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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