these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
