My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
they're like a gay fantastic four
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
