We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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