I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
