btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
