She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
