She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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