You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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