This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
