Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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