So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Holy shit dude........stairs
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
