I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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