tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
