planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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