come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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