Sry I called you an 8
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
