I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
