We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
