Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
