break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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