Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize