Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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