i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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