The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize