Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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