I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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