Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
