whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize