You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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