I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
