just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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