They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
