Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
