I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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