My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
