i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
