Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
