i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
