He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
