i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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