Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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