I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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