I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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