once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
