Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
