return my video game
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Hippo gnu deer
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
