I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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