Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think my fart just growled at me.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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