Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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