The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
