but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
