she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
