Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
