These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize