i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
