she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I currently don't understand fingers.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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