This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
