I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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