Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize