used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
