i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
