Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
