You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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