That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
