Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
