I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
